Femme Nouveau

'Tis the Season . . .

2010-12-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

I stated back in April that I was swimming to the surface. Little did I know just how deep I had sunk! Though, like all divers, one cannot suddenly rise to the top. A person has to slowly adjust to the return to the light and so it seems I have.

Christmas music fills the stores, holiday glitz and glitter are all around yet I am not tempted by all things shiny and bright. Instead, the illumination helps me to see more clearly what's important - family, friends, a career I enjoy, good health and the opportunity to still do something to make me that much closer to one of the many goals I have for my life.

One site I have discovered recently that any of you DIY'ers may enjoy is Tip Junkie. It's chock full of great tips, crafts and activities. Let me know what you think. :)

I send light and love to you and yours at all times, but especially during these next few weeks, that you may be blanketed with the warmth of knowing that you are important, you matter and you are loved.

Winter blessings . . .

Swimming to the Surface

2010-04-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

For anyone who has wondered, I have been dealing with a number of issues which have caused me to implode mentally and emotionally. It's shocking to see that it has been nearly three months since I have written. I didn't realize that I had been "out of it" for so long.

I took a much-needed medical leave from work over the last month to destress and move towards an improved state of mind. You would think that being on the treadmill would have helped to stave off a stress-induced meltdown, but alas, it did not. It's almost as if my body rebelled from my attempts to alleviate stress until I finally shut down completely.

Thankfully, with the help of modern day pharmaceuticals, I finally feel like I am resurfacing from a dark abyss and beginning to see the light at the surface and am swimming upward preparing to fill my lungs with a deep gulp of fresh, clean air. Yep, I think I'm going to make it.

So what now? The honest answer is I don't know. For the next month I am going to be working four hours a day to ease back into work. In addition, I am putting things in storage to lease my three bedroom home for rental property and moving in with my mom for the next six months (at least) while I decide what my next step will be - getting a one-bedroom home here, moving somewhere else, rededicating myself to my current job, changing careers. All is undecided at the moment; for now I'm taking things a day at a time and looking for a God-wink to steer me in the right direction. Right now, the only direction I have is up - swimming to the surface.

Still Plugging Away ...

2010-02-04T21:55:00.001-08:00

Resorting to blogging on my iPhone because my cricket got squashed like a bug and I now have to buy a new one. I've been plugging along with my workouts - exercised four days last week and just did my third workout of the week tonight.

In addition to doing at least 30 minutes on the treadmill three times a week I have added a daily regimen of drinking 64oz of H2O and food journaling. The LoseIt! app on the iPhone makes it super easy to log foods because all entries can be recalled later if you eat the same food again which I think most of us tend to do. It also automatically determines how many calories per day to have to lose two pounds a week. Convenience is a big key to unlock becoming fit. The less I have to think the better.

As for dating, January was the best of times and the worst of times. I had more dates last month than any other single month I can recall in a long, long time. The bad news is that two guys stood me up. The guy I made beef stew for on Sunday night not only didn't bother to show he has yet to call, text or email an apology. This would have been our fourth date and the other three were pleasant and polite so I definitely didn't see that one coming. The other guy who flaked did so more than once, but at least I found out before he was supposed to pick me
up. Today he asked me out again for this weekend, but I'm not prepared to give him a second
chance - yet.

On the bright side I've "met" three other guys online just this week so we'll see if anything develops. I've met one of them in person. He was nice and I enjoyed watching a movie with him,
but even his Tom Cruise smile didn't cause the sparks to fly. Still, it does the heart good
to spend time with another person who cared enough to want to spend time with me. That is
always a warm fuzzy.

No matter what, I vow to enjoy my weekend date or no date and continue to remain optimistic that one day I will meet a heart and soul that speaks to mine. After all, I was raised in Louisiana and this Sunday the New Orleans Saints are playing in the Super Bowl for the first time in franchise history. How could I not believe in miracles?

Pajama Day

2010-01-30T21:28:00.000-08:00

I have had a nice, cozy pajama day today - lounging, reading, cleaning in my Winnie the Pooh's Eeyore pjs. I have enjoyed my dose of self-pampering after working two days with no assistant. I knew I would want to unwind this weekend which is why I went to our local library to gather up some new treasures to browse through. I checked out four or five, but so far I've been alternating between two.

The first is Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine, a mother who has created a career out of finding delicious, sneaky ways to add fruits, vegetables, nuts and fiber to the usual kid-friendly foods like mac and cheese, pudding and brownies. Click here for some of her tasty recipes. Thanks to my papaw in Louisiana who plowed huge gardens with his faithful mule, Jack, I grew up eating lots of veggies, but in my opinion almost none of us get an optimum amount of nutrients in our foods so why not add more if it doesn't effect the appearance, texture or taste? One easy trick I learned years ago is to substitute applesauce for oil in baking recipes. There is absolutely no difference unless you count all those calories that you're not getting. If you've never tried this, go for it and let me know how it turns out. I will definitely be trying some of Chef Missy's recipes and will post my thoughts.

The second book is The Spark by Chris Downie who has a really interesting story about his journey from a shy, anxious person to one who now lives his life's dream of inspiring millions. He has created one of the world's largest free websites for health and fitness. Click here to visit the site. I've only glanced at it, but it looks quite interesting and will probably be something I'll do to add to my motivation arsenal.

I have a dinner/DVD date tomorrow so I am signing off and finishing up with tidying Cottage House. I hope each of you are doing something this weekend that bites off just a little bit more of this tasty fruit called LIFE. Peace and love to you all . . .

Honeymoon

2010-01-28T19:15:00.000-08:00

It's the honeymoon phase. I am intoxicated with going through my collection of favorite web sites, blogs, music lyrics and crinkly fortunes left over from Chinese take outs and dine ins, all so that I can share with the "world" which right now consists of three, very dear followers. You do mean the world to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I was just telling my friend, Lisa (an honest-to-goodness REAL author) that I am really surprised by how thrilled I get when I see another follower added to the blog. I distinctly remember when I first heard what a "web log" was. I had an actual spasm of fear. No way would I EVER publish a journal for the public to read. My thoughts are PRIVATE!

I've been keeping a journal throughout my life since I was 12 years old and the thought of baring myself to the world seemed extremely, well, naked. Maybe that's it. Maybe I actually felt it was time to break down the barriers and add a little vulnerability into the mix.

For whatever reason, creating and publishing Femme Nouveau seemed like the right thing to do at the right time. I am tickled pink by it. I know, I know. Honeymoon. Right. I get it, but that doesn't diminish in any way the jolts of joy that I feel coarsing through while I write this or while I allow myself to think about other topics I'd like to touch upon.

So I'm going to just be still and enjoy the moment, grateful for the honeymoon and enjoy the ride for as long as it runs . . . and speaking of running, I will be doing another turn on the treadmill before drifting off to dreamland. Sweet dreams to all of you and let's all remember the words of Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up the Sun." It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got and tonight I'm grateful 'cause I got honeymoon.

Moving forward . . .

2010-01-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

This week has been hmmm . . . how to say it . . . interesting?? I've been edgy all week. It first started on Monday morning - or Sunday night, I forget which - when the iPod dock would not allow me to play my iPhone music. At all. Extremely irritating, but little did I know it would be the first of many signs of techno-rebellion. The next sign was when I hopped on the treadmill and tapped on the c25k app and the iPhone would NOT play the music. It would run the app, but NO MUSIC! The next sign was when I called J. and began to leave a voicemail on his phone. As I was talking the recording time would end and in the middle of attempting to leave my message I was interrupted with the "press 1 if you are satisfied, 2 if you want to hear, 3 if you want to re-record" message. UGH!!

I suppose looking back it's kind of comical because I attempted three times to leave a damn message before I finally got wise and the fourth time said "This is me. Call me back." as fast as I possibly could. I felt like I had suddenly developed some type of unknown human condition that caused me to emit weird radiowaves thus preventing all technical devices to work - like when the helicopter in the Avatar movie goes through the sky mountains and the pilot flies without her instruments.

Anyway, I managed to still get my time on the treadmill by bringing in my laptop and playing the iTunes from there. Gotta have my music to make the time go by faster. Luckily the computer has not crashed during my workouts although it has shut off by itself three times while trying to do my blog so it appears the technogods still have a grudge against me. :(

The good news is that I stretched my time and worked out for 41.35 minutes tonight. That's a whole four days IN A ROW of moving my body and I'm feelin' pretty darn good about that since my goal is to work out 30 minutes a day, three times a week. I think part of me is afraid that if I skip a day it will be too easy to miss the next, and the next, and the next . . . so the real test will come when I actually do take my first day off. Another good thing I realized tonight, working out forces me to drink more water. Had 32 ounces during my workout. So I'm giving myself two stars today and not subtracting a single point for the potato chips I ate with my tuna sandwich!

Dancing in the Flames . . .

2010-01-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

Filled with energy and enthusiasm now that I have kissed Femme Nouveau and sent her sailing out into the cyberworld to gather fun, hot, divalicious chicks and sexy, enlightened, confident men to come together at this little blogspot to goad each other on to squeeze every drop out of this ripe, juicy fruit called LIFE.

I spoke to my brother last night and he mentioned one of my favorite songs. I am not a big country music fan, but Garth Brooks', Standing Outside the Fire, always hit the nail square on the head for me.

The line, "Life is not tried, it is merely SURVIVED if you're standing outside the fire" - is true as the Gospel, that one and - I'm not sure which verse - but the big JC probably had that angle covered as well.

I danced in the flames this morning by doing my 30 minutes on the treadmill when I awakened, motivation courtesy of the friends who responded to my femme-vitation and said to count them in for the ride. Here we go! Let's make it a great day! :)

WTF?

2010-01-25T20:41:00.001-08:00

The title should pretty much tell you exactly how I am feeling at this moment. I look back to the beginning of this blog creation and see that nearly two months - TWO MONTHS! - have gone by since I announced to the world that I was ready to make a change in my life because I am sick and tired of sitting on the sidelines and basically having no life. Granted, no one other than myself and the Universe KNEW that I had made that declaration, but still!

What has changed since then? Career-wise, I will admit that business has picked up a LOT which is a very good thing, BUT this is only one piece of the puzzle and not the piece that I had intended on focusing on so ONCE AGAIN I recommit to my health and fitness.

On the bright side, I have as of yesterday become a member of active.com to help me reach my new year's goal which is to run my first 5K. The members I have "met" are extremely supportive and motivational. Some of them were in my shoes a few years ago and now they are in their mid-to-late forties and are running 5Ks and half marathons. That is the inspiration I need!

I only did 15 minutes of treadmill today so I am wrapping up this post to do at least another 15. I am committing to doing 30 minutes at least three times a week from this point forward. I am repeating Wk1 of C25K because I cannot jog more than 60seconds at a time right now.

The only positive thing about this reality is that I KNOW I will look back on this blog in the not-too-distant future and be amazed at how far I have come and the progress I have made!

P.S. Completed my other 15 which makes it two days in a row - count 'em: One, Two - of getting my 30 minutes in. My minimum is three times a week, but might as well go with it if the motivation is there, right? and believe me, I know the dreaded dodgy doldrumonsters are waiting for me just around the bend . . .

Gratitude

2009-12-02T23:27:00.000-08:00

Felt really great toward humanity in general today and think it was from a combination of the motivational speakers I recently heard and the fact that I was told someone dear to me would receive the call he has been waiting for.

Life is starting to emerge from my cocoon and his. Thanks be to God!

Foggy London Town . . .

2009-12-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

No, I do not live in London, but it felt like it today - cold, foggy and wet, but I loved it. Mostly because I spent the day with a great colleague.

Exercise - climbing stairs (very few) and cleaning house (a teensy bit) which I am sure was offset by the 1/4+ mini carton of Chunky Monkey I enjoyed for dessert tonight after a "light" (yeah, right) dinner from Mickey Dee's.

Apparently, I'm still marinating in my motivation . . . As Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day."

Confessions

2009-11-30T21:42:00.000-08:00

Confession #1. Did not go into work today to stay home and do some much-needed house organizing. Confession #2. Did not actually work on cleaning, sorting, donating, trashing until after 3pm when the dear mum came over to help.

However, I worked on sorting for a couple of hours while Mom was here and another couple after she was gone so that my dear readers - not that I have any yet, but in my mind you are already with me - was my workout for the day.

I must go to bed soon. I have quite a long day ahead and I am hoping the motivation fairy comes to me in my dreams tonight to hit me with a pillow-full of energy, enthusiasm and efficiency.

P.S. Still no shower yet, but I have actually cleaned off my bed and washed the linens so I will be washing away the grime so I can enjoy the scent of freshly laundered sheets.

Marinating in Motivation . . .

2009-11-29T22:29:00.000-08:00

So, okay. No exercise today (well, yesterday since it is now past midnight). However, my Monday goal is to pop in a yoga dvd to help me limber up this stiffening body and bring some flexibility back to my limbs. Beats the hell out of me why an aching, rigamortis-like body doesn't encourage me to do this everyday, but it remains my goal for Monday and I will blog the result NO MATTER WHAT!

One of my favorite T'shirts of all time is the one with a large bowl filled with the depression pill of choice that says, "Please pass the Prozac." Really wish I had bought that one when I saw it . . . At least my humor stays intact (for the most part).

Now off to dreamland where I hope to marinate in my motivation and wake up as an energetic, productive member of society who exercises, bathes, and dresses nice for the office.

Dreams Unleashed

2009-11-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

This is it. The time has come - that moment when life has become so unsatisfying that something has to change. I am - God, I don't even know my age off the top of my head - is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I was born in 1965 so that would make me 44 years old. I have many things to be grateful for; I do know that so know one needs to remind me to count my blessings.

There are many things for which I am grateful - a loving mother and good memories of a father I loved very much, a sister I am close to, nieces and nephews whom I adore, a brother who has been known to touch my heart with his warmth, sensitivity and undying love for his children. I have a few friends that I can reach out and spend time with, but none that I see on a regular basis and I wish that were different. It can sometimes be lonely as a single in a couples world. I wish I would hear from my friends more . . . but I digress.

I am intelligent, witty, educated. I have a job I enjoy and colleagues I like. However, this blog is not about what I like about my life and gratitude - while an important attribute to have - does not give me the fuel I need to feed this fire of change.

The fact is I am motivated to write this blog to give a place where my internal life can move out of my head, my imagination and into my REAL life. I am sick and tired of sleepwalking through life and not having the life I want. There are many transformations that need to be made in my life to marry the internal with the external. I was told once that the further apart these two are the more dis-ease and anxiety one feels. Speaking from personal experience I believe that to be true. Maybe my internal and external points on the line of continuum have grown so far apart that it has triggered me to finally take action.

I have been at this place before but not with the same amount of intense dissatisfaction. Now there is an awareness that time - my LIFE - is passing me by while I sit or lie on the couch playing Facebook games, eating crap and gaining inches and pounds . My extra weight and lack of physical fitness is the primary cause of my current self-loathing. I am too young to feel this much pain in my body which I know is primarily caused by lack of exercise. I am hoping that this blog will give me an arena to express my desires, my frustrations, my setbacks and my successes so that I can narrow the gap between who I am and who I want to be. Come with me on my journey. I could use the company.